What it's all about...

I'm a 39 year old wife, mom, daughter, sister, aunt & friend. That should tell you who I'll be writing about most of the time.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

More Kids?

Dani asked if we ever thought of having more kids. The answer to this is yes and no. When we first discussed having kids, and even up to the birth of our twins, we were set on having 3 kids. I was a big supporter of this idea after our kids were born, specifically because I really wanted to experience giving birth vaginally, since mine were born via c-section. We didn't really discuss it after they were born, until we received the paperwork from our cryobank discussing the continuation of storing our remaining 3 vials. The babies were only about 10 months old at that time and we had no plans to try again very soon, plus the cost was a lot more than we could afford at that time. It was a very hard decision to make, but we ultimately decided to let them go.
When our kids were about 4 or 5, talks began again about whether we should try for that 3rd child. We were very worried about the chances of finding ourselves pregnant with more than one again, and 4 (or more!) children was not something we desired. And with the kids getting ready to start school, there was the added expense of school uniforms and supplies that kept the financial side of the equation very much at the forefront of the discussion.
The next, and last, time it seriously came up was about 2 or 3 years ago. Shell brought it up and seemed to really want to revisit the idea. She had a lot of guilt and regret about the first year of their lives while she worked 2 jobs and was either at work or sleeping most of the time. She felt that she missed out on a lot and thought if we had another that she could participate in that stuff. I was the roadblock this time. Our kids were now about 10 years old, and we had already bought this house, with only 3 bedrooms. And the kids' rooms are very small. We certainly couldn't afford to buy a bigger house, and I felt very strongly agains making one of our kids share a room with a new brother or sister. And I couldn't help but think that our kids would be graduating high school in 7 or 8 years and then we could focus on us. I didn't really want to start over again. We discussed it for about 6 or 7 months with each of us arguing our feelings on the matter. Obviously, I won. Within the last year, Shell has mentioned a few times that she's glad I didn't let her have her way as the way the economy has turned, we would be struggling even more with another person to feed and care for.
So yes, we've thought about it and discussed it over the years, but in the end our two are perfect for us. Three may have happened if we had started with one, but two at once definitely changed our perspective.

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