What it's all about...

I'm a 39 year old wife, mom, daughter, sister, aunt & friend. That should tell you who I'll be writing about most of the time.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

2 Weeks

Two weeks from right now we will be driving to California. Two.Weeks. I am actually starting to feel a little better about this and letting the excitement take over for the anxiety. It's a good thing. What got me to here?

This last week has been really busy. On Saturday, my boy had his normal early Karate class, but because it was the Memorial Day weekend and the other classes were cancelled they started it at 8:30 instead of 7:30. That was nice. I mowed the front yard and thought I was going to die. Seriously. After I was done, I sat down and couldn't catch my breath and my heart was pounding so hard and fast I thought I might pass out. Needless to say, I didn't get the side yard or the backyard done. That is still on my Must Be Done Before Leaving list. We went out that night for a goodbye get-together for a friend of Shell's that is moving out of state. We went to a straight bar downtown. Now, I don't go out that much and when I do we go to Charlie's which is a gay bar. I think I'm going to stick with gay bars from now on as much as possible. I am so thankful that I am not doing the "dating thing", and that I don't have to be subjected to the meat market that is straight clubs too often. I guess I'm just too old and too married to appreciate it. But it was fun to see people from Shell's work that I don't usually hang out with. Usually I dance when we go to Charlie's, and I did a little but I just wasn't as comfortable.

The kids spent the night at my parents, which was good since we didn't get home until 3:30am. Willow woke me up at 6:15 to go outside, and then I went back to sleep. Joe decided it was time to get up at 9. Oh well. I woke Shell up about 10:30 and then we got ready to go shopping. My mom went with us, which was a first. Shell, as usual, spent so much more than we should have, but the sales were really amazing. We went to Fashion Bug, J.C. Penney's, Lane Bryant and Torrid. We had lunch at Long John Silvers (I wasn't impressed). My wife worked her usual magic and picked out clothes that looked really good on me. I am so glad that I have her, because otherwise I certainly wouldn't have the patience to find anything. We were gone for 6 hours. Whew! When we were done, we went back to my parents house (my dad kept the kids while we shopped), got takeout Mexican food and then went home. Monday, we went back to Penney's so Shell could get a few things then back to my parents house to BBQ hamburgers and hot dogs. We played two games of Shanghai and went home. Now I have so much laundry to do before we leave. The kids and I all have new clothes to wash.

This week is the last week of school. yesterday was Field Day and as usual, my son got a sunburn. The back of his neck is lobster red and very sore. So we skipped Karate last night and I got a start on the laundry. All the new stuff and the clothes already in hampers is very overwhelming right now. Two Weeks to go. I told Shell that other then Karate, I can't leave the house this weekend. I HAVE to finish mowing. I HAVE to get through the laundry. The boy and I HAVE to clean his fish tank. Oh boy.

I have stayed up until after 11 the last two night trying to make a dent in the laundry and getting some shows cleaned out of the DVR. I am a bit tired. I am hoping that I can get so much accomplished this weekend that I just have to do a little every day next week to stay on top of it. Next weekend is going to be pretty full. Saturday we have our hair appointment and Sunday is Pedicure and Manicure day. I'm very excited for this, and mom is getting her hair done and nails too. Can't wait!

Oh yeah, the other thing that helped me feel a little less anxious about the trip. I was telling Eric about how bad it makes me feel that I am so heavy, even heavier then when I was there just last spring. And because he is the best, he said that nobody cares how much I weigh. AND he found the pictures he took at my wedding and I get to see them finally. I know that in my mind somewhere I know that the people who I love don't care what I weigh, but I know that it is noticed. I know that I notice when someone I know gains a lot of weight. I don't judge or think bad things about them, but I do notice. I've come to terms with the fact that I can't do anything about my weight in the next two weeks, but I am definitely not going to make it worse. I broke out my Walk Away the Pounds DVD and walked 2 miles on Tuesday night and one mile last night. I haven't bought any fast food this week and am committed to following that through until we leave.

That's it for now. Here is a picture of Shell and I Saturday night at the bar.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Counting days

I feel like that's all we're doing around here lately. The kids have 6 days of school left...Madonna tickets go on sale in 10 days...22 days until we leave for California. The last two weekends have been busy, and the next 3 before we leave will be as well. I am starting to panic and feel very anxious when I think about it all. I have not taken any pictures since the de-bracing of my boy. I think I have been somewhat depressed, probably for a couple of months. I'm not familiar with depression, so I kept thinking that I couldn't be because I am not always sad. But I don't think that it is a continual sadness, so maybe???

Anyway, the lowdown on recent events:
Mother's Day was nice. My Willow dog waited until almost 7:00 to wake me up to let her outside. So much for sleeping in! Well, I guess it was since I get up at 5:45 during the week and 6:00 on Saturdays. Shell & I exchanged gifts while the kids were sleeping. They slept in until almost 10. I got Shell a Pancake Puff Pan (she saw it on an infomercial), and the Martina McBride Live CD/DVD. She got me a gift certificate to get a manicure and pedicure before our trip. She got one for my mom too. She's awesome like that sometimes. After the kids got up, we made Pancake Puffs and it actually worked the way it did on the infomercial. I was so glad. And they were really good too. We went over to my parents for barbecued steaks, twice baked potatoes and salad. Yum! I LOVE BBQ steak. That was pretty much it for the day.
Last weekend was a blur. There was no 7:30am Karate review class on Saturday, so we got to sleep in. Willow woke me up at 7:00, but then I went back to sleep until almost 10. It was lovely. My girl had spent the night at her friend's house the night before, and after the boy woke up he decided that he wanted to meet them at the park. So off he went. They all trampled back just in time to get ready to go to a birthday party. That night, Shell & I went to see A Chorus Line. It was so great. I was a little nervous because she is so in love with the movie and I wasn't sure if the stage show would live up to that. But it did and she loved it as well. The kids stayed the night at Dana's, so after the show we went to Denver Diner to eat and then went home. Sunday was a rough day. After picking up the kids, we headed to my parent's house. Their Asia dog had become considerably worse in the last couple of weeks and they decided that the best thing for her was to put her to sleep. My mom asked me to go with my dad, she knew she just couldn't be there for it. After Shell & the kids had a chance to love on her, we headed to the vet. It was heartbreaking to see my dad so upset. She was an amazing dog and everybody loved her. I told my mom that after she was gone, she seemed more at peace then she hadbeen in a long time. It was a good thing, but so hard. Shell & the kids had stayed with my mom while we were gone, so after my dad & I returned, we just hung out for awhile. My girl had a very hard time with it, she is very sensitive when it comes to animals and although she understood why, it still hurt. I am glad that she is exposed to these things, but her tears broke my heart. I hurt for her still.
Moving on... I got our Wicked tickets in the mail. I am so excited to take the kids to see this while we are in CA. Eric is going too. We are not going to tell them about it, at all. They will be told that we are going to a nice restaurant for dinner with Uncle Eric and then just end up at the theater instead. I can't wait! To be honest, it's the one part of this trip that I am really looking forward to. Well, actually I am very much looking forward to seeing everyone, I just wish I was going to be doing it in a different body. It's so irritating to me that I have obviously known about this trip for months and yet have done nothing to try to lose weight. Quite the opposite actually. On too many occasions to count I have woke up in the morning telling myself that today is the day that I'm going to start. And then I end up at Taco Bell or McDonalds for lunch. And I wasn't eating a salad either. I am angry and frustrated and disappointed and sad. There are only 3 weeks left before we leave, and the cute clothes that we spent a fortune on last spring when I went out there don't fit me now. I don't know what I am going to wear this time. I don't know what else to say. So I'm done on that topic for now. Because really, what else is there to say?

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Catching Up

There is no easy or quick way to do this, so I guess I'll just jump in. A lot has been happening, and whenever I think I'm going to write about something I decide to wait to include the next event and so on. To make it less painful, I'll make it more about the pics and less about the dialog. We'll see how that goes...

On April 11 & 12, my boy endured 2 days of intense testing in front of master instructors to earn his High Brown Belt. He passed. It was awesome and I was (am) so proud of him. The day after was for rest and relaxation.
On the left:Hanging out with sis & the dogs. On the right: The boy and our Willow dog

On April 26, he had a progress check and then the official graduation where he got his new belt.
Top Left: A high side kick. Top Right: Does he look nervous to you? Bottom: Check out those freckles!

Top two: Getting his new belt from his instructor. Bottom: Proudly wearing his new High Brown Belt

The 26th was also my niece's 10th birthday. She is 3 months older then my kids. Happy birthday to her!
On May 3rd, we saw Margaret Cho at the Paramount Theatre. She cracks me up, we really enjoy her humor. Ian Harvie opened for her. He is a FTM transgender, and is hilarious! We had such a great time. The 3rd was also the 5 year anniversary of our wedding. I should blog about that! From that day..

May 5 was my 34th birthday. Shell made me a delicious dinner when I got home from work, and I opened cards & gifts from her and the kids. I got the new George Michael CD, a Bruce Sprinsteen Greatest Hits CD, and a Starbucks gift card. We are going to see A Chorus Line next week, which was partly for my birthday as well. So Happy Birthday to me!
On my birthday. 34's not so bad.

And then to wrap it up, my boy got his braces off this morning. He'll get his retainers in 2 weeks, but until then, he's got naked teeth. They look great. Here is a comparison to show how far he's come. Keep in mind that he has lost about 3 teeth in the last month, so those are still growing back in.
Before... And After
So that about wraps up the fun we've been having. I have purchased all 3 return trip tickets for next month and have put away the rest of my stimulus check for the trip. I really really want to buy Wicked tickets for the kids and I and Eric. I have to do that soon. Found out today that Madonna is coming to Denver on her tour. Shell has no desire to see her, so she recommended that we fly Eric out (the concert is in Nov.) and buy him a ticket to go with me. We planned a trip once before that centered around him & I going to see Tina Turner in concert. Madonna tickets go on sale May 31. I hope we can get tickets, I'm sure they will go fast.
Other than all that... Mother's Day is Sunday. We don't have any plans yet, but I'm sure we'll end up over at my parent's house.
This was a fun post. I should definitely do it again sometime.