Gone 2 Weeks

~~This is a long post about my reaction to Michael Jackson's passing. Feel free to skip it if you want. It's mostly to help me remember how I felt.~~~

I have started and restarted and written and deleted this post so many times and it's just not going the way I had planned. 2 weeks ago Michael Jackson died and it rocked my world in a way even I couldn't have imagined.

I was at work on Thursday June 25, and had just talked to Shell because she was at the dentist for our boy to get his cavity filled and his last baby tooth pulled. The other line rang and I saw that it was Eric, so I hung up with her to pick up his call. He asked if I had seen that Michael (we always refer to him by just his first name. It's all that's necessary.) had a heart attack and was rushed to the hospital. I hadn't, but I quickly started combing the news sites for information. I was checking reputable sites like Associated Press, BBC, LA Times, NY Times, ABC, CNN and was finding that he was indeed taken by ambulance to the hospital after apparently suffering cardiac arrest. Still on the phone with Eric (thank goodness it was a VERY slow day at work), he told me that TMZ was reporting that Michael had died. I refused to believe that this tabloid trash gossip site was right. I mean, NONE of the other sites were saying that, so I held out hope. Dana called me to see if I was okay, as she was hearing that he was gone. I told her it wasn't "official" yet. Shell called me from the dentist to see if I had heard and I yelled at her that "only TMZ is reporting that and they aren't real news so right now all I'm dealing with is a report of cardiac arrest". By this point, I was shaking and panic started to set in. I still had Eric on the phone as we repeatedly refreshed pages and searched for new news. I saw it first and my heart sank. LA Times reported that Michael had died. I read it to Eric and started to cry. There was silence as we started to absorb the shock. We ended our call and it took everything I had to stay at work for the next 45 minutes. Shell called to see if she should come pick me up. I assured her that I could drive myself home. 5:00 finally came and I immediately found a radio station playing Michael songs. Tears fell from my eyes while driving home and as I sat in my car in the garage listening to the radio until Shell & the kids got home. I ate one piece of pizza and laid in bed watching coverage until late that night. Shell held me while I cried.

The next day at work was hard. Tears stayed in my eyes, ready to fall randomly throughout the day. I spent a large part of the day trying to stay composed, and failing for the most part. I was consumed with finding information wherever I could. Even reading TMZ, just because they had constant coverage. I listened to every Michael CD I had repeatedly. It felt a little manic, to tell you the truth. That still continues to some extent. That Saturday, Shell invited Dana & Jeannie for dinner. I think it was to distract me actually. Sunday was Pride, which helped get me out of the funk I was in. But then it started again on Monday. Shell said that she thought I was actually doing better than she would have expected. But I really wasn't "dealing" with it. It just didn't feel real yet. It started to hit me a little on Saturday the 4th when we went to the store for some stuff and found the first Tribute magazines. Holding those in my hands, I could feel my heart beat faster and felt the tears welling up. Shell redirected my attention before it went too far. The magazines went into a bag, and I haven't looked at them since.

The weekend was full of talk of the memorial service and the lottery to win tickets. Eric registered a number of times, but as we heard of the vast numbers of entries and that the odds were getting slimmer and slimmer, we lost hope. The winners were notified Sunday night and when I didn't hear from him, I knew he wouldn't be attending.

I spent Monday morning trying to figure out how I would be able to watch the service online and record it at home. Then Eric called. He was going after all! He had registered an entry for a friend and she was chosen. And she was taking him. I was thrilled for him and really I was thrilled for me too. Since I couldn't go, he needed to so I could hear all about it. I was really happy for both of us, but that was the calm before the storm. For the rest of the day, the reality of what was happening the next day started to hit and moments of lost composure became the norm. My Facebook status was "Monday has turned around for the better. I'm SO happy that deserving people are being rewarded today!" But when Eric commented with "although you know i wish you were here to go with me. i would give up my seat for you.", I lost it. I didn't WANT him to have to give up a seat to Michael's memorial service because I didn't WANT there to be a service. I didn't want Michael to be gone, to never again release records, to never see his beloved children grow up, to never tour again. I was angry and embarrassed and shaken. I was bitter that all these people were proclaiming their love for Michael now and it was too late for him to see.

I have been a "fan" for as long as I can remember. I listened to my mom's Jackson 5 albums growing up. She bought the "Off the Wall" and "Thriller" albums when they came out, so I listened to those too. This picture is me on my 10th birthday in May, 1984. I loved that shirt. The button I'm wearing says "I (heart) Michael Jackson". I changed my Cabbage Patch Kid's name to Michael Joseph Jackson (mylastname). Later that year, the Jackson's Victory tour was coming to Dodger Stadium and my mom went in with some friends to buy tickets (they were sold in lots). One of the people ended up not being able to go, so my mom told me that if they couldn't find someone else, that I could go. Soon after, my mom had a conference with my teacher who told her that I was very behind on my math homework. So my mom told me that I had to make up all the missing work, or I wasn't going to the concert. I worked my butt off, and did it. Unfortunately, I hardly remember the concert at all now. This kills me. And now there will be no "maybe he'll tour the U.S. again someday and I can see him again"...

This is me and my cousin on Christmas 1987. The "Bad" album was one of the first ones I owned. I can still remember studying the liner notes to memorize every word and reading the names of the lucky people who worked on the album. I was a full-fledged fan by now. My mom would even tell me, when I complained about having to do the dishes, "just imagine you are at Michael's house doing his dishes". Believe it or not, that's exactly what I did and it got me through A LOT of chores over the years. I used to keep my room clean, thinking that if he "popped in" (you know as mega-celebrities do) I'd want it to look nice.

I met Eric in the fall of 1988, and found a soulmate in our love of all things Michael Jackson. He was a reader of liner notes too, and we spent many hours talking about and listening to music. In May of 1989, my mom took us to Hollywood to follow the map of star's homes and check out the Hollywood Walk of Fame. It was fun to see where the star's lived and wander around Beverly Hills and see Graumann's Chinese Theater. We found Michael's star and took pictures. We also found the Jackson family home in Encino. THAT was exciting! We were standing in front of where he lives!

When we went to see "Captain Eo" at Disneyland for the first time, I was captivated. I thought it was the coolest thing. I couldn't convince my parents to let us see it over and over, but did get them to buy me a stuffed "Fuzzball" from the movie. It was one of the few stuffed toys I kept over the years of moves and when my daughter was little, she loved playing with it. The tail started to detach from the body, so I put it up high so she couldn't reach it.

After I bought a copy of Captain Eo on eBay, her interest in my

Fuzzball was renewed. So for her 7th birthday, I found a Fuzzball on eBay and bought it. These pictures show her face when she realizes what's in the box and posing with her new friend.

She is a fellow Michael fan as well. For Christmas last year, she asked for her own Michael Jackson CD to play in her room, so she wouldn't have to keep borrowing mine. She watched a lot of the coverage and specials with me after he died and was a big comfort as well. She understood why I was sad.

So back to the memorial service. I decided to take the day off, knowing that there was no way I'd be able to watch coverage at work and not cry. And it wouldn't be an option to avoid the Internet either. So I stayed home. I'm so glad I did. The moment I woke up I turned on the TV and watched his family drive to the cemetery for their private service. I was okay until they carried his casket to the hearse for the drive to Staples Center. That wasn't easy. I talked to Eric briefly before he made his way there and then communicated via text until the service began. And then the tears started. It was the "ugly cry" at its worst. Reality hit me full force and I did not take it well. Every person who spoke or sang caused more tears to fall. I couldn't have stopped them if I'd tried. When his brother Marlon spoke, I felt the realness of it all sink in and then when his beautiful daughter stepped up to the microphone and told the world how she misses her daddy...well that just did me in. I was a wreck...

So now here I am, two weeks after. Every day since the memorial service has been a little better. My wife is relieved to see me finding my way back to normal. I still feel the pain from the loss very deeply, but it doesn't make me cry every time I think of it. But to be honest, I feel anxious thinking about the autopsy results being made public. Like I'm waiting for that shoe to drop before the next round of grieving can begin. Because I know there is more. Maybe there always will be?

I still haven't looked at the magazines I've collected so far. My girl wants to watch the end of the memorial service with me because she missed it, but I can't do it yet. I spoke to a friend the other night who lost her mom a month ago and while she was telling me about the days after, I found myself thinking "that's how I felt about Michael". It's not the same, but it's how I feel. I feel a little embarrassed by my depth of grief, but it is what it is and it's real to me. I never met him, I didn't "know" him, but my heart broke when he died. And little by little, day by day, it's healing. But not very fast...

Long Overdue

It's been a long time since I posted last (thank you Teaberry for the nudge I guess I needed). I had a post started last Thursday when the news about Michael Jackson hit and my world came crashing down. I am struggling to compose a post about what he meant to me and how his death is affecting me, but it's been very hard. There is so much to say and I don't want it to sound random. I'm trying to find photos to include in it, but most of them belong to my parents and going through their photos is a task, let me tell you! But it's coming along, slowly but surely. Just know that his death was a blow to my heart and soul and every day I've found myself either crying or near tears. I don't think it's completely hit me yet, and I am already a little surprised at how much it is affecting me. So please, be kind. If you are someone who doesn't think highly of him, that's your prerogative. I just ask that you don't comment with negativity. Thank you.
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Even though it's been a couple of weeks since my cousin's funeral, I was just given this picture of me with my parents. Even though we are teary-eyed, it's actually a pretty good one. And I'm not sure when the last time was that I had a picture of just us.

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In other news...

Seeing RENT was AMAZING! Our seats were great and I may have had my mouth hanging open for a large part of it. We truly love the movie and know the movie soundtrack by heart, along with our kids. But seeing the production on stage... I can't find words to explain it. It was just brilliant. It felt like a life-changing event. After the show, we headed around to the stage door and

were just in time to meet and get autographs from Anthony Rapp(Mark) and Nicollette Hart (Maureen). We were so excited! These pictures are from the national touring company we saw. It was so great. I wish we could have gone again while they were here.

My boy had his first cooking class last week. He is taking three this summer through our city rec center. His first was about pasta, and he learned to make homemade ravioli. It was so good. He had such a great time. He really loves to cook. I can't wait to have him make homemade pasta for dinner sometime.

Sunday was Denver Pride and we had been looking forward to it. The kids LOVE going and as an added bonus, Debbie Gibson was the main performer. We packed up the wagon & cooler and went with Dana & Jeannie and the kids. We were running a little late but got in place just as the Dykes on Bikes passed by. Phew! That's one of Shell's favorites, besides the PFLAG groups. We watched for a while, then let the kids play in the park. While we were walking through all the vendors, we found a face-painting booth. Thinking it would be a quick & fun thing for the kids and would kill a little time before we needed to find seats for the show, we got in line. Well, quick it was not. We were there for so long! Finally we were done, and headed in to the show. Debbie Gibson was really great. She sang "Out of the Blue", "Electric Youth", "Foolish Beat", a medley from the Broadway shows she's done, "Only in my Dreams" and a few others. She looks HOT! Oh my, she looked good. So to wrap this up, a few from Pride.

My kids playing in the trees

Shell & I and Jeannie & Dana

My Tiger boy and Bunny girl

For "Only In My Dreams" she pulled people from the audience to dance onstage with her

Looking Up

Since the news of my cousin's passing, it's been a roller coaster of emotions and events around here. The service was last Thursday and it was really beautiful. His daughter sang a song (I still don't know how. I was a sobbing mess, she did great.) and I visited with family from out of town who I hadn't seen in quite awhile. Shell stayed home with the kids, so I went with my parents. We helped transport food & flowers back to the house and then stayed there visiting until I had to get home so Shell could leave for work. It was really hard to go through all the emotions of the day without her, and since I walked in as she walked out I really missed her that night. Last Sunday we had lunch at White Fence Farm with my parents, my grandma, my mom's cousin & her husband and the wife and kids of my cousin who passed. It was a really nice afternoon, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't glad to be home that evening with my wife cuddling and watching movies. The fear that something could happen to her is with me constantly now, and I find myself struggling at times to get past that and function normally. I guess it's good that I'm not taking her for granted, but I found myself with tears in my eyes this morning when I left for work because we had argued and I couldn't stop thinking that if something happened to her while I was gone, it would be the last time I had with her. Couple that with the fact I was just irritated by what we were arguing about and I couldn't decide if I was happy or sad to be leaving! Oh, and I'm going to start my period soon so I'd better hold on tight because this could be a bumpy ride!
We are going to see Rent tonight and I am beside myself with excitement. I feel like I've been waiting to see this forever and watching the movie just intensified that. Plus, the actors who played Roger and Mark in the movie and original stage production are in this tour as well. And our seats are in the THIRD ROW! Oh, I can't WAIT to get off work so I can go home and shower, drop the kids off with my parents and head to the theater.
And speaking of tickets, Shell surprised me with tickets to see the 1964: The Tribute band play at Red Rocks in August. I went with my dad 2 years ago and last year we took my boy and we had such a great time. So we're going again, the three of us with the shared love for The Beatles.
This week at work has been a challenge. We had Internet problems Monday through Thursday, so today is the first day I've been able to access my work for a full day. I am so behind on entry, it's not pretty. I've considered coming in this weekend to get more caught up. I'm still thinking about it.
The only other news is that the kids saw the dentist this week for their routine cleanings & exams and my boy has his first cavity. So he'll go back in 2 weeks to get that filled and have his last remaining baby tooth pulled.
Oh, one more thing. We got the kids last report cards in the mail this week and they both had straight A's! And they will be in honors classes next year, so middle school, here we come!

A Lesbian Family Weekend...

I am an LGBT family. What to write for the Blogging for LGBT Families Day? What if I just wrote about what life was like in my house over the past weekend? Would that be enough? I hope so...because that's what this is. Life in my LGBT family is not spectacular, not shocking, not all that interesting really. It's probably extremely similar to life in a "normal" family. I guess to some, that's shocking enough.
This past weekend was not typical for my family, and I am very thankful for that. Shell got home from work around 6:30 that morning and we snuggled for a while and fell asleep. My mom called at 8:00 with bad news. Her cousin's son (the one who I turned to about our TV issue) had passed away early that morning from a massive heart attack. He was only 47 years old. To say this was unexpected would be a gross understatement. He left behind his wife, his 18 year old daughter and 16 year old son. I wasn't close to them, but my heart aches to think of how his wife must feel.
We already had made plans to take the kids to see Up that afternoon, so off to the theater we went. It was a really great movie, but sad too. Shell & I found ourselves crying & laughing, so I'd call it good for adults too.
After the movie, I went to pay my respects. It was very difficult. Tears flowed easily and I was glad to be able to show my support. The service will be on Thursday, and I am expecting to be able to attend. I was happy to hear that they are donating his organs and I hope that knowing he will continue to help others will help in their healing. Needless to say, I spent the rest of Saturday night being very clingy and wanting to be thisclose to Shell. I couldn't stop thinking of how it would be to lose her so suddenly and it just broke my heart. It was a rough evening.
Sunday started so good and just got better. Our computer arrived on Friday, so my friend from work came over Sunday to get it all set up for us. It was very exciting. I also took the dogs to the groomer, so I didn't have to deal with them barking every time he moved. Made it so much better. We made fried rice and egg rolls for dinner and had a very relaxing evening.
I've also been doing Wii Fit all week, only missing one day. I really, really like it. I'm going to try the Wii Active tonight. I've heard it's quite a workout.
And thanks to Facebook, and the death in our family, I've reconnected with my cousin who I've had little to no contact with since we were much younger. My grandma (mom's mother) was married 3 times and had 4 children. None of them are very close. Between them, there are 7 kids (I am the second oldest of those) and these cousins are not close either. Never have been, due to our parents distance I'm sure. Unfortunately, the "family news" we get is usually akin to gossip as it's pretty one-sided and subject to the interpretations of the person sharing the news. To try to break this cycle before it infects our kids, my older cousin & I are trying to fill in the gaps with our own lives and tell our stories first-hand. I'm glad, as it's always made me sad that I'm not close to any of my cousins, on either side of my family.

Facebook Got Me!

Wow, it's been almost 2 weeks since I last posted. I've kept up with the blogs I read through my reader pretty good, but have been horrible about commenting. And why? One word: Facebook. I had resisted joining, figuring that keeping up on my myspace and trying to keep up with this blog was really all I could handle. And I'm still not exactly sure what finally convinced me, but I did and the newness hasn't yet faded. I'm not sure when it will, but it will. Right? I didn't think I would, but I kind of love it. And I'm kind of obsessed with checking it ALL DAY LONG to see if I've missed anything. But that won't last. RIGHT??

In the fantastic news department, our new computer should arrive on Friday. It's just lovely and I can't wait to have it all set up. It is so much better than the one we had. We got it about 6 years ago as a gift from a former co-worker of mine. It had been given to him and was already a bit dated when we got it. But we were grateful to finally have a computer and just lived with it. I can't imagine how great it's going to be to have the new one. My fantastic co-worker is going to come set it up for us and install some software for us. All for a case of beer.

On the television front: My cousin came to look at the TV and pronounced it Able To Be Saved, it just needed a $300 board. He wouldn't charge us anything to put it in though. This began many conversations about what to do. See, 3 years ago we got this television from him that he had obtained through his work as a repairman. It is a 50" Samsung LCD and he sold it to us for $700. We were so thrilled to go from the 20" television that I'd had since high school! And it was worth all $700 too! Until the sound went out. We decided that even though we probably wouldn't be able to get as big of a TV, it would be worth it to just get a new one. And thanks to Memorial Day sales, we went out shopping yesterday morning and found a great deal on a 46" Samsung LCD. And since it was such a great deal, we decided to see if we could get as lucky on a new one for our bedroom which still had an old 20" that was a hand-me-down as well. We found a 32" Panasonic LCD that was marked down as we stood in front of it. SOLD! It was fun and as we were discussing what features were important it occurred to us that it was the first time we've bought a new television since we've been together. All of our TV's have been hand-me-downs and even though we did technically buy the one we were replacing, it was still a used one when we bought it. Dana brought her Explorer to pick them up and we headed for home. I hooked up the one in our room last night and we all climbed on the bed to watch a couple episodes of Bones before going to bed. I'll get the big one hooked up in the family room tonight, and then I can try out my new Wii Fit too. New computer and TV's... It's a pretty exciting time in my house right now. Expensive...but exciting.

My three day weekend was absolutely lovely. I got to leave work at 4:00 on Friday and went home to a delicious roast with carrots and onions that Shell had put in the crock pot that morning. I made mashed potatoes and after the kids got home we ate. It was so, so good. I played MarioKart on the Wii with the kids and talked to my sister on the phone until late.
I got up Saturday morning and convinced my boy to help me do some yardwork. We've got a lot of weeds and I wanted to clean up around the grass where it meets the rocks. He got distracted early on by the amount of "roly-poly's" we were unearthing and started collecting them in a bucket. Soon after, some of the boys in the neighborhood found their way over and joined in the collecting. It was quite a sight. After 3 hours of pulling weeds, getting rocks out of the grass, and clearing out under bushes, I was tired and starting to feel a little light-headed. I was almost done, but forced myself to stop. As soon as I got in the house, I felt like I was going to throw up and pass out. It was not a good feeling. I laid down on the floor in the bathroom and Shell brought me some water. Luckily, the feeling ended pretty fast but Shell made me go upstairs and lay down anyway. She made me some lunch and soon after that I fell asleep. I slept for about 2 hours and after watching Food Network for a while, we ran to the store to get stuff for yummy toasted italian sandwiches for dinner that night and food for the BBQ we were going to on Sunday at Dana's.
Sunday morning we got up and made pasta salad and cupcakes to take to Dana's. I prepped hamburger patties and cooked up some bacon. We headed over about 2:00, as the rain was moving in. Luckily, Jeannie didn't mind grilling in the rain and we had hamburgers, hot dogs and ribs from the grill. They also made fried okra and I sauteed mushrooms. We had so much food, we were all stuffed by the time we were done. The kids played on the trampoline (in the rain at times), and played Wii. My girl is reading To Kill A Mockingbird for her summer reading requirement, so she was pretty wrapped up in that. Somehow, they were all preoccupied with themselves enough to let us play games mostly uninterrupted. We played Catchphrase, Scattergories and SceneIt. We had such a great time and didn't leave until after 11:00.
My boy ended up spending the night at Dana's, which made shopping for the TV much easier on Sunday morning with just the girl. We got up early and headed out around 9am. After we got the TV's home, we went over to my parents house to barbecue. My grandma is here from CA, so we got to visit with her too. We ended up watching the DVD's that we had made from OLD reel-to-reel movies that belonged to my dad's parents. They were so neat to watch. Then we went home, I hooked up the TV in our room, popped popcorn and watched Bones.
And now, I'm at work. You know, working... And wishing I was at home again. Three day weekends just don't come often enough.

Some Stuff...

As I said before, my wife bought me a new wedding ring for my birthday. I liked it, but we decided to see what else they had that I might like better. As soon as we walked up to the case, I found the right ring. Plus, they had one in my size. AND it wasn't as expensive as the one she chose. We had them clean and polish it, and it was mine. I love it so much and it's so comfortable. Shell is happy that I'm wearing a ring all the time again and that I am happy with it. Here it is:

We spent Mother's Day with my parents. My dad got some Carne Asada meat and grilled it to go with fresh tortillas, homemade guacamole, grilled corn on the cob and watermelon. We brought angel food cake, sweetened strawberries and cool whip for strawberry shortcakes. Plus, we had grilled shrimp as a snack when we first got there. It was all so yummy. The kids watched Kung Fu Panda, which is easily my son's favorite movie right now. Shell & I borrowed my mom's computer to buy tickets to see Wicked again this Fall. We are taking Dana & Jeannie with us, since they've never seen it. I love sharing the theater with others... Plus, our seats are in the 10th row, which is pretty awesome. I think this may be Shell's favorite of the shows we've seen. We've seen Phantom of the Opera (3 times), Miss Saigon, A Chorus Line, Beauty & the Beast, The Nutcracker ballet (2nd row seats, she fell asleep) and Wicked (twice for me, once for her so far). We're going to see Rent next month, and I'm really excited about that one. Yay for the theater!
Monday we went to an art show put on by the kids school that my daughter was entered in. She made a clay sculpture of a gargoyle, with a puppy's face. It was really cool. She didn't get any awards, but we were all really proud of her regardless.
Tuesday night was my son's final band concert of the year. This was his first year in band and he loved it. I think he's going to continue it next year. I'm so glad that both of my kids are interested in music and art.
Tonight is our hair appointment and then we are going over to Dana & Jeannie's to grill brats. Shell spent the day today with Dana shopping, so I'm sure she'll want to show me everything they bought. My wife loves to shop so much and loves to buy things for those she loves. I'm sure she bought Dana some clothes while they were out, probably some for me too. The objective was to get some summery clothes for the kids plus swimsuits for them to wear to Field Day tomorrow. With the temperature in the 70's & 80's for the next week, it sure feels like summer is close.
I hope you all had a wonderful Mother's Day and that the weather is beautiful wherever you are.

One Year Older

Yesterday was my birthday, and that is the cake that Shell got for me. It's an ice cream cake from Baskin Robbins. Oreo ice cream with white cake and Heath Bar crumbles all over the top. It was SO good. My boss bought a Boston Cream Pie for me at work, so lots of cake yesterday. Yum!

I really love my birthday. People who I love call me, I get gifts and I don't have to worry about cooking. It really is the best day. Both of my sisters, my niece, Dana and Eric all called me to say Happy Birthday. Shell called me periodically throughout the day to do the same. Strangely, neither of my parents called me... I wonder if they'll call today realizing that they missed it?

I had no idea what Shell would get for me, I just knew she was really excited about it. She wanted to give it to me in the morning before I left for work, but I wanted to wait until after I got home. Unfortunately for her, I like to wait to open presents until the last possible moment. I love the anticipation and suspense and the older I get, the less gifts I get. So I knew that once I opened her gift, the fun part would be over. She, on the other hand, is the type of person who wants to open her gifts immediately. And she wants to give people their gifts as soon as possible and then tries to convince them to open them early. She's definitely about the instant gratification. Making her wait to give me my gift yesterday almost killed her. And every time she called me, she reminded me of that. So I got home from work and changed, and before I knew it she was in front of me with a little box. Yes, that kind of little box. It was a new wedding ring. I was floored. We'd been talking about replacing the one I had for a while, but I didn't expect it for my birthday. The ring I bought for our ceremony was very inexpensive. I guess I got what I paid for it. In the 6 years since I bought it, one of the itty bitty tiny diamonds has fallen out and the ring itself is no longer a nice circle. More of a bent oval. It's become less comfortable to wear and I hate that. Plus, I was not loving the idea of wearing a "wedding" ring that I didn't get "married" with. You know? But it was time, so she took it upon herself to get me a new one. It needs to be sized, is too big to wear right now or I would totally have it on today. I really love it and I love her so much for getting it for me. We'll probably get it sized this weekend, then I'll post a picture of it.

I had a couple of questions come up from the posts about our ceremony. Steph asked if the kids were there. No, they weren't. Our trip was very quick, got there late on Friday and left early on Sunday, so we didn't do any touristy stuff plus they were only 4 years old at the time and wouldn't have remembered it anyway. Shell spent most of her time before the ceremony with her family and friends in the casino gambling and drinking and I spent my time running around making sure everything was ready for the reception. So instead, they stayed with my mom who wasn't going. The chapel we used did broadcast all ceremonies on their website, so they watched it but again, don't remember. We have the DVD of the ceremony and they've watched it a few times over the years.

B asked how many guests we had. My "side" was: Eric, my dad, my sister & brother-in-law, a good friend I've known since 6th grade & her boyfriend. Another friend who happened to be in Vegas that weekend already stopped in during the reception with her wife. Shell's "side" was: both her parents, her brother & sister-in-law, two nieces, her aunt, 2 cousins, a 2nd cousin, her best friend & her husband & mom, and an old friend of her mom's.

Teaberry asked if we had a honeymoon. We didn't. And we didn't have a proper wedding night either. That was my fault. I had quite a few Long Island Iced Tea's during the reception and had been up early that day and really didn't eat anything until the reception. It was a long day with a lot of stress and excitement. We headed back to our room after the reception and after I got undressed (which was a production in itself), I laid down on the bed and passed out. I slept great, but needless to say Shell was not a happy newlywed. I felt so bad, and still do. Can't really redo the wedding night, but someday I hope to try. That would have been our "honeymoon". Oops. We did end up going to the Bahamas 3 years later on an all expenses paid trip, and kind of refer to that as our honeymoon. Again, we hope to do it up right someday when we can make it legal.

Thanks everyone for your comments. I found a couple of the professional photos that were taken during the ceremony that I had scanned, so for quality sake, here's a few more.