Frustrated

Ok, so I knew that my attempt at NaBloPoMo would mean that weekends would likely be missed, and I was okay with that. But now my work computer has thrown another obstacle in my way. I can only access the text box...and that's it. The buttons to link to another site, change the font, underline, italicize, add a picture, etc are gone. Or rather, they are hidden behind the text box and I can't access them. I've been told that by the end of the year I'll be getting a new computer with up to date versions of everything, but I'm not holding my breath. The internet is moving forward and I'm stuck in the not supported past. :(
And yes, I could blog on my computer at home, but I try very hard to only do schoolwork at home because my time with Shell is very limited as it is. So in the meantime... just words from me.
I'm kind of excited and kind of nervous right now. In an hour, I'm going to interview a pagan minister for the final project in my comparative religions class. I'm excited to learn more about this type of religion, but want to ask good questions as well, because that's what I'll be graded on. I really love this class, which I wasn't expecting to at all. Definitely the highlight of this semester.
Only 4 weeks left, and one of those is a week off for Fall Break. Yay!

Kinda Down

This has not been an easy couple of weeks for me emotionally. Our money situation is not good, the end of the semester is looming in one month with all the final assignments taunting me, Shell has been trying to pick up overtime shifts whenever possible to ease the financial stress which results in less time together, less time together plus stress plus being tired equals not enough quality (wink wink) time... And I don't want to complain because there are obviously others in much worse shape than I am. It's just hard for me right now to see the light at the end of the tunnel and it's getting to me. I tried to talk to my best friend about it and was able to vocalize most of what was bothering me, but not all of it made its way to the surface. It's just too much to process all at once. It feels like as soon as one thing starts to ease up, something else comes crashing down. I feel the weight of the election tomorrow and really kind of need Obama to win because I can't imagine the reality of what the alternative will be. And it's November and I'm trying very very hard to be thankful for what is good in my life and to focus on those things and not dwell on the other. I am not normally this person who lets the bad overshadow the good, but it is and I don't like it. So one foot in front of the other right? It sucks to feel like this. I need that light to shine a little brighter right about now...

My Vote

This morning I took advantage of early voting and voted. Now starts the waiting game. I saw this post on Dorothy Surrenders this morning and it said everything that I feel right now. So I'm going to repost it because it's just that perfect.

My Weekend Vote

The question for me, four years later, remains shockingly simple. Do I believe in hope? Yes, yes I do. I still do, four years later. Sure, that hopey changey thing isn’t magic. My vote four years ago didn’t change the world overnight into a unicorn-riding utopia where we all slide down rainbows while braiding each other’s hair. But I am not so naïve to be disillusioned that change takes hard work and hard work is, in fact, hard. But here is what makes it so simple for me – change is happening. Not as quickly as we all impatiently want, but coming nonetheless. For the first time in our nation’s history, we have a sitting president who openly supports marriage equality. Who believes we aren’t the problem or a scapegoat or a wedge. Who does not say “It’s not right” when gay couples have children. Who affirms our personhood and right to the most basic of liberties – love.

But, lest you think I’m a single-issue voter, I am not. Sure, my ability to exchange rings and eat cake with a roomful of my friends in a way that is recognized and sanctioned by the government is huge. But other issues are just as huge. I am a liberal of the bleeding heart kind – and proud of it. So I see government as a benevolent force for good, not a malevolent impediment to progress. Is there waste, sure. And it drives me crazy. But I’m even more thankful for the road we drive on and the law enforcement who keeps us safe and the teachers who educate the next generation and the safety net that catches us if we stumble and the first responders who risk everything when emergency strikes. That’s big government, folks. And in the wake of Superstorm Sandy, I’m extra proud to have my tax dollar go to federal disaster funding. Because I see nothing “simply immoral” about my money being used to help people ravaged by forces they cannot control. Can the private sector help? Of course. But do we really want a world where “This Rescue Was Sponsored by McDonalds” becomes a thing?

I want a president who believes the government can and must do those things as well. I want a president who believes my love is equal, instead of “not right.” I want a president who believes we need to combat the rising of the oceans, instead of mock them. I want a president who believes all Americans should have access to affordable health care, instead of just the richest. I want a president who believes in a woman’s right to choose, instead of vowing to overturn Roe v. Wade. I want a president who believes rape is rape, instead of only the “forcible” or “legitimate” ones. I want a president who believes in the power of the government to lift people up, instead of faith that corporations are people too. In short, I want four more years of Barack Obama as my president. I want four more years of hope that a better world is waiting. Vote Tuesday. Happy weekend, all.

Random Songs Meme

Today is November 1 and is the first day of NaBloPoMo. Can I do it?? Gonna start with a meme that has everything to do with music. My music. I saw this one on Maria's blog a long time ago and saved it because I thought it sounded like fun. So here goes.

Take out your ipod (gonna use the music library on my laptop for this). Put on random selection. FIRST song that appears answers the question.

1) Describe your childhood: Have a Nice Day- Bon Jovi. You know, I actually had a pretty "nice" childhood. Nothing extreme happened, we lived on a cul-de-sac where everyone knew everyone else and everyone's kids played together.

2) What was your first crush like? Blowing Kisses in the Wind- Paula Abdul. This seems strangely intuitive. My first crush was also my second crush and became a very short-lived "thing" in high school. We crushed on each other at separate times through elementary school and junior high, but never synced them at the same time. By the time we tried it in high school, too much had changed. Thankfully, we are still friends and have kept the connection that just never developed into something serious.

3) What was high school like for you? (Okay, now this is getting scary. How does it know what song to go to next??) For Good from Wicked. Do you know this song? If not, you must find it and listen. If you do, this is seriously THE MOST appropriate song for high school for me. High school was all about my friends and it was mostly about Eric and Shell.

4) What was college like for you? Come What May from Moulin Rouge. This is favorite song from one of my all-time favorite movies. It is the name of my blog, is mine and Shell's song, and will one day be the inspiration for a tattoo. And going to college right now has shown me that I can do more than I ever thought I was capable of and that our relationship can make it through this, come what may.

5) Describe your first paying job. I Kissed A Girl- Katy Perry. This makes me laugh. I was working at my first job when Shell and I started dating. And kissing. And I liked it... ;)

6) Describe your current job. Shout- Tears for Fears. I feel like shouting a lot at times. It makes me crazy how much grown men whine sometimes!

7) Describe your boss or closest co-worker. The Long Way Around- Dixie Chicks. It does feel like there are some things that take much longer to communicate than they should sometimes with these guys. That's the best I can do with this one...

8) What do your siblings think about you? The Glory of Love- Bette Midler. You know, I never thought of it as anything but a song about a couple, but the lyrics could certainly apply to other relationships. And it could definitely apply to siblings. I don't think this would have fit years ago, but right now? Yes :)

9) What do your friends think of you? You're Only Human- Billy Joel. I am human and I do make mistakes...and sometimes it is my friends who help me see that it's not the end of the world when it happens.

10) What do you think of your friends? The Power of Love- Huey Lewis and the News. Another one that is probably better for a couple, but almost all of the lyrics would definitely apply to how I feel about those who support me and listen and let me be me.

11) Describe your first kiss. Love Hangover- Diana Ross. First kisses are as dramatic as this song and mine is no different in my memory. Didn't happen until I was in 8th grade and it didn't disappoint. And there were fireworks, I'm sure of it.

12)Describe your first sexual experience. Silly Love Songs- Paul McCartney. This doesn't really describe the experience itself, but I suppose it's pretty descriptive of how I felt at the time. And how I thought he felt.

13) Describe your first date. Mama, I'm a Big Girl Now- Hairspray. My first "date" was to another school's winter formal dance with the son of one of my mom's clients. We were freshmen and I'm not even sure why he asked me because until that time we had spent all of about an hour together. It was a pretty big deal though and I did indeed feel like a "big girl" :)

14) What did you think the first time you met your current love? Forbidden Love- Madonna. This song is more appropriate for the time years later, but if you asked Shell, she'd say it works for her. I didn't feel anything when we first met, but she did.

15) What did your partner think the first time he/she saw you? Head Over Feet- Alanis Morisette. Yes, yes, yes. I think this is perfect!

16) What do you think of your current love now? Lucky- Melissa Etheridge. I am so lucky that she has allowed me to see and grow parts of myself I never even considered before. I'm very lucky.

17) What does your current partner think of you now? Diamonds and Pearls- Prince. I think that for the most part, this is probably accurate. And I love this song, so this one coming up on shuffle was a delightful treat :)

18) What describes your love life now? Bridge Over Troubled Water- Michael Jackson. Sometimes our troubled waters can only be traversed by a bridge and sometimes, that bridge is our love life. There have also been many times that our love life caused the troubled waters and a bridge was hard to find. This might be too descriptive of a song for this question actually...

19) What do you look like in the morning? I'm Still Standing- Elton John. Oh, totally!

20) How do you see your life right now? Love Heals- Johnathan Larson. It's beautiful and is perfect here. Love in all forms heals me everyday. I hope that it does the same for you too. Take a listen.