What it's all about...

I'm a 39 year old wife, mom, daughter, sister, aunt & friend. That should tell you who I'll be writing about most of the time.

Friday, February 17, 2012

On a Much Lighter Note

To continue catching up...

My Cubub was in ICU for 13 days and as I mentioned in my last post, I was the text-connection for those out of state. My sister in Missouri struggled with whether to drive out from the very first day. She couldn't decide if she should come out and end up sitting with us for hours at the hospital each day, or wait. She decided that she would definitely come over spring break if Cubub did make it, since we knew that the cancer would take her within months and that way she would get to see her. When we learned that the vent would be removed and that she wasn't expected to make it, my sister decided that she would definitely come if Cubub didn't make it. She wanted to be here as we all gathered together to mourn. So on Jan. 5, the day after Cubub died, they packed up the car and my sister, her fiance and my 4 year old niece headed here.

My sister in California was already scheduled to come out on the 5th to go with me to the Michael Jackson Immortal Cirque du Soleil show. Losing Cubub put a sad spin on her visit, but she was also glad to be able to come and see so many people. So it turned out that my sisters were both here over the weekend. We haven't all been together in years, so it really was a great time. I think my Cubub would be happy to know that she was the reason for it too.

The Immortal show was good and I'm very glad that I went and that I got to share it with my sister. We got all dressed up and had dinner at a pub next to the arena before the show, where the only music playing was MJ and Jackson 5. We loved it. My other sister was staying with my parents since I already had my CA Sis at my house, but we called her and told her to meet us back at my house in her jammies and we'd have a slumber party with adult beverages. We had drinks and laughed and just really enjoyed all being together. We spent the weekend together and with with family, alternating between grieving and joy. It really was a special time. Both of my sisters left on Monday, Jan. 9 and we were very sad to see them go. Our house wouldn't be empty for long though.

Three days after my sisters left, we had a memorial service for Cubub. She had been cremated and there was some discussion over whether or not to have a service. At first, Bill thought that he just wanted to have sort of an open house and invite anyone to come over and visit and support each other. I'm not exactly sure what changed his mind, but he did. My grandma and uncle, who had driven in the day that she died, decided to stay so they could attend the service. Some of the family from out of state had made their way back to their homes in the week since she passed, but there were still quite a few who stayed once they knew we'd have a service. I left work early to attend, and it was a fitting tribute to her. Many tears, but many good memories were shared and we rallied around Bill and my Cubub's parents, my great aunt and uncle. After the service, we went back to Bill's house, where they had Atlanta Bread Company sandwiches catered. I didn't stay as long as I probably would have otherwise though, because I had more visitors flying in that evening. My best friend Eric and his boyfriend Jake were coming for a week-long visit and after almost two weeks of almost daily visits to the hospital and constant bad news, after three days of having my sisters here and the highs and lows of that weekend, after the endless tears and hugs and sadness of the memorial service, my best friend's presence was exactly what I needed. Their visit had nothing to do with my Cubub and although I was still hurting, they were the perfect distraction. We took them to the Butterfly Pavilion, to the Coors Brewery, to the 16th Street Mall, to the Denver Zoo and to Hammond's Candy Factory. I got up each morning and had coffee with my best friend. We all watched The Help and after the kids went to bed we watched Contagion. We stayed up late and slept in late. Every day was an absolute gift. The day before they left, I started my 4th semester of college. And while they were here, my sister in Missouri told us that they were moving here. In February. And the discussion of where 4 people and a dog would stay until they found a place of their own began.

Craziness prevails and life continues to throw out curveballs... :)

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