What it's all about...

I'm a 39 year old wife, mom, daughter, sister, aunt & friend. That should tell you who I'll be writing about most of the time.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Half a semester down...

I'm two weeks into the second half of the semester, and feeling pretty good about where I am. I aced my music midterm, thanks to an extra credit assignment and have pretty good grades in my other classes. I received an invitation to join the honor society, which just blew me away and after discussing it with Shell, decided to join. Guess I'd better plan to keep my grades up, because I really want to wear the cool stole, cords, and tassel at graduation. :)

Speaking of grades, the kids got their first quarter report cards and they each have all A's with just one B, in geometry. They are doing so well, especially considering how busy we are. Football season is almost over for my boy, I think he only has one game left. Rehearsals for the musical my girl is in are in full swing, less than a month until the performance. We need to go shopping this weekend for her costume. Luckily, most of it, she could wear again, so at least we won't be spending money on something she'll never wear again. Speaking of costumes, I don't yet know if my kids are dressing up for Halloween yet. I don't think they were planning to, until the boy reminded his sister that since she is getting braces on after the first of the year, she won't be able to eat much candy next year. So, I think that she is reconsidering so she can trick or treat and eat candy. I don't know what she plans to be, but I'm sure she'll come up with something.

As a result of my being an adult and getting my exams, I'm having a small procedure done tomorrow. One of the moles that the dermatologist sent for biopsy came back positive for pre-cancer cells, so she wants to take the whole thing out and eliminate any chance that it might develop into cancer at some point. I'm told it's no big deal so I'm planning to return to work after it's done. There will be stitches, and the bandage will need to be changed at least once a day. I'm glad that I have Shell to do this for me, since it's on my back but this makes me wonder. What a pain it would be if I was single. I wonder if I'd have to drive to my parents house at least once a day to have one of them change the bandage?

Last but not least, my sister is getting a divorce. While my nieces were here this summer, my brother-in-law moved out. I'm told that it had come up previously, but after trying one thing after another, the decision to split was finally made while the girls were gone. So far, they are on the same page with everything. They are using a mediator, which seems like a much gentler way to end a marriage than having to deal with a lawyer. My parents however, have been shaken by this news. I think that it's a combination of the fact that they really like my brother-in-law, and that my sister's marriage has been a source of pride for them. When your daughter gets pregnant at 15 years old, her future probably looks pretty bleak. When she gets married at 16 to her 17 year old boyfriend, I don't think that you expect them to be together forever. They seemed to defy the odds though. They were married for almost 17 years, have 17 and 13 year old daughters, my brother-in-law went to the police academy and became a police officer and now a detective, my sister went to nursing school and is now an RN, and they own a cute house. On the outside, it couldn't be better. However, as with any relationship, noone really knows what it's like in each one except for those who are in it. And they had simply grown apart. From what I can tell, there isn't any animosity and they are agreeing on everything. I'm happy that my sister took control of her happiness and is moving toward being fulfilled in ways that she was no longer getting in her marriage. I'm sad for my nieces, but they seem to be handling it really well. I guess that is a sign that it was time as well.

This whole thing has made me look closer at my relationship with Shell. We have been through a lot of rocky patches that made us wonder, at the time, if it was worth staying together. I can honestly say that there were times that we probably stayed only for the kids and because splitting up would be a hassle. And had we not found ways to heal our relationship, I don't think we could have lived in that place we had allowed ourselves to get to. But we did heal, many times over, and we are now in a better place than we've ever been. I'm certain that the kids being older has a lot to do with that, but I also know that I value her more now than ever before. I've found and embraced the sex drive that I had all but lost, and even though I hate the size I am now, I also feel pretty good knowing that Shell finds me sexy and appealing and turned on by me. We text and email each other throughout the day to flirt, play games, or just say I love you. We don't have a lot of time together in the evenings, which is ironic now that she isn't working nights anymore, but we are making it work. And this, right now, makes me extremely thankful that we didn't give up before. This is what I hoped we could achieve, and even though we still have less-than-stellar moments, we bounce back from them much quicker. It's a much healthier model for our kids and that makes me very happy.

Oh, and somehow, I am having much better luck commenting on blogs all of a sudden. I don't know what changed, but so far it's going quite well. :)

1 comment:

StephLove said...

Congrats to you and the kids on the good grades. I'm glad they caught the mole before it turned into something more serious.

I'm sorry to hear about your sister. However amicable, it's always sad when people split up.

And thanks for continuing to try to comment on my blog. The one you left today showed up.